Mother’s Day Welcome And Blessing

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Well, I want to greet each and every one of you in Jesus' name this morning. Today's a special day. It's Mother's Day. And it's a day that we recognize all that our mothers are and do uh in our lives. When I think of my own mom, I think of a quote that I found by a lady named Taneva Jordan. A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie. This quote, I think, encapsulates the sacrificial love that uh that I've experienced through my mom, and that I think so many of you have experienced through your mothers. A uh a self-giving love, a love that puts her children and her family ahead of her own uh desires and wishes at times. So I'm blessed to be here this morning, have have my mom here this morning and the the mom of my my own children. Uh so this is uh a special day for all of us. I want to bring a Mother's Day sermon this morning from Proverbs 31, and I invite you to open up your Bibles to uh to Proverbs 31 at this time. I've chosen this chapter today because uh this chapter uh encapsulates uh on this day, we we often uh will highlight the virtues and the the blessings that our mothers are in our own lives. And this chapter highlights uh what is called the uh uh the woman who fears the Lord. Now, this is a a a chapter that is um how would I say I don't know if how uh this chapter affects or impacts uh you, especially uh those of you uh women in the in the audience. For some, I was I was actually just asking a few women that I know, um, how do you feel about Proverbs 31? And the truth is that for a lot of uh women and mothers, uh they can you can feel what's called, I guess, uh Proverbs 31 syndrome. And it's this feeling of uh overwhelm, of inadequacy, of uh a sense that you do not match up. And my intention today is not to hold up a yardstick uh to you as mothers, uh to try to compare you to this the ideal that is laid out here. My intention is to encourage you all and to highlight the virtues that we do see in you as mothers and as wives. And uh I think there's something here for all of us. This is God's word. God's word can be uncomfortable at times, but if we look at it carefully, I think we'll see, we'll come away encouraged and blessed this morning. So, what I want to do is lay out, uh read the chapter together and then lay out four reasons to call her blessed. Four reasons to call her blessed. And then afterwards, we're gonna put

Reframing Proverbs 31 Pressure

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it into practice by opening it up to you all to uh verbally bless your mother uh or the mother of your children here this morning. So be prepared for that. A couple of interesting facts about Proverbs 31. It is consistently found in the top 10 most searched for scriptures uh on biblegateway.com, which I found interesting. Uh top 10 searched for passages. Traditionally, Jewish men would sing this chapter to uh their wives every Friday night, uh, either before or after the Sabbath meal. Um and I think that's I think that's that's great. Um I'd be tempted to ask some uh you know one or two of you men to try to try to sing it afterwards, but I don't think we'll do that. Proverbs 31 is a poem of praise. It's a poem of praise about the virtuous woman or wife, and it was written about 3,000 years ago uh by King Lemuel, we're told. Some think that King Lemuel was a pet name for King Solomon, and that his mother taught him these this poem to uh prepare him to look for an ideal wife. This poem is an acrostic in Hebrew. We don't pick it up so much in the English, but in the in in the Hebrew, each verse begins with with the subsequent letter in Hebrew. So this is essentially A to Z uh covering a complete picture of what wisdom looks like in action. So how should we how should we read this considering that for for a lot a lot of you, especially moms, you feel this sense of of uh uh Psalms 31 syndrome. The truth is that most of you, if not all of you, um, are already struggling to keep it all together the way it is. Um guilt. Guilt that you're not um you're not giving your children everything that they need. Maybe you feel a guilt that you're not disciplining correctly, or you're not uh you're not feeding them healthy enough, or that you're maybe not giving them exactly the types of resources that they need. Uh you struggle with worry and fear. Um worry that that you're somehow messing up your children, that they're some somehow gonna end up um uh somehow uh messed up because of your mistakes. You struggle with anxiety um and struggle with anger at times, controlling your anger, um, and then regret. I think of maybe some of you older mothers who are sitting here today and maybe you are feeling a sense of regret and thinking about the ways that you failed as a mother uh when you were younger. But probably most of all, just a sense of inadequacy. The task and the burden that you carry is a great one. And uh it will it will and does test you to the absolute limits. So a couple of helpful things that I think can help frame this chapter before we read it are um are are the following. So this chapter is uh is a descriptive poem, it's not a prescriptive poem. Um meaning this is a it's a it's a poem written in in I mean it's poetic language, it's wisdom literature, and it describes uh an ideal, not it does not prescribe a checklist, a to-do list for every woman. Secondly, it describes a lifetime of accomplishment. I think for a lot of you, you sit here and read all of these things that this this uh woman is doing, and it's it's honestly I feel guilty reading this. And and I think this describes a lifetime of achievement, not a weeklong uh picture of the virtuous woman. Uh again, this is not a checklist, this is a picture of wisdom in action, and this is wisdom for all people, not just wives and mothers. So, as men, as husbands, even as young young men, as young women, as you read this, uh this is wisdom in action. So, all of Proverbs, I think, I think so many of the principles, the wisdom that is found in the book of Proverbs preceding this chapter kind of culminate in this chapter. Uh, so there's something here for all of us. So let's dig in.

Reading The Proverbs 31 Poem

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We're gonna read uh we're gonna pick up in verse 10 and read to the end of the chapter, and then we'll uh we'll proceed from there. An excellent, an excellent wife who can find. She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar, she rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it. With the fruit of her hand she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable, her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hand to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself, her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, she delivers sashes to the merchant, strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up. This is the verse I want to sort of anchor in today. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Amen. Let's pray. Father, uh, we thank you for your word, and we thank you that you are the author of this beautiful chapter. I pray that you could help us to uh understand the wisdom that is found here, uh, that we could apply it in our own context, three thousand years uh from when it was written. Uh, we trust that your spirit will work in and through us in our lives. Help us to uh to live out what you have uh laid it laid out for us in Jesus' name. Amen.

Root Before Fruit Fear Of The Lord

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So four reasons from this chapter to call her blessed. And her, I guess you could think of as uh today I'm gonna frame it as our mothers. Um the mothers of our children. Number one, she fears the Lord. She fears the Lord. Proverbs opens up and closes with the fear of the Lord. So in chapter one of Proverbs, verse 7, we read the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And the rest of Proverbs from there proceeds to lay out what does wisdom look like? Uh wisdom in daily life, wisdom in our relationships, in the ways that we interact in business, uh morality, uh, all of the above. The end of Proverbs closes with this focus on the fear of the Lord. So the second to last verse, Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Now, fear of the Lord is not uh being scared of God, it's rather a reverential devotion to God. It's a life that's given over to God, a life that is rooted and anchored in God. This God fearing is the is the anchor from which the rest of this chapter, the practical ins and outs, flows out of that. It's the key to understanding the rest of this chapter. So we tend to focus on, when we read this, we tend to focus on the on the fruits of this virtuous woman, uh, how she clothes her family, her business ventures, uh, all of her accomplishments. But her roots are found in the fear of the Lord. And it's out of that fear of the Lord, that devotion, that life of commitment to God, that she's able to bear this fruit. If you try to produce fruit without the root, you will wither. And that's a principle that is true for all of us as believers. So, as a mother, if you're here this morning, uh all of your pursuits, all of your desires for accomplishment in your in your family or in your community must begin with the fear of the Lord. It's that key that is going to allow you to be fruitful in your own life and in the lives of those around you. Your fear of the Lord, your devotion to the Lord are what will empower you to live out this model of virtue in the life of your family and community. Charles Spurgeon says, there, the fear of God is the death of every other fear. The fear of God is the death of every other fear.

Woman Of Valor Kingdom Strength

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Number two, she is a force of kingdom strength. She is a force of kingdom strength. If we're honest, many of us tend to view uh the the virtue through the lens of 1800s Victorian uh era. And it's a lens that views women as weak or docile, uh as too delicate to handle the rigors and the harshness of life. Uh here's a couple quotes that were common in the Victorian era. Here's a common common Victorian proverb says, Women are like flowers, they should be kept in a sheltered garden, away from the storms of the world that would surely break them. Okay, I see some some uh ruffled feathers in the crowd. Here's another quote by uh uh a doctor Henry Maudsley, a psychologist in 1874. The female is a creature of sentiment and emotion, her brain is smaller and her nervous system more delicate. To subject her to the same mental strain as a man is to invite a total collapse of her constitution. Okay. This uh Victorian, I guess, way of viewing women, uh, especially in in that time, viewed to uh led to like this um you almost call it a fainting culture. If you read read books from that era or or or watch movies, women were were often wearing these really tight corsets that restricted their breathing and movement. And they were uh there was this social expectation of a woman being very delicate and frail and constantly fainting or passing out because of some, you know, they were always on the verge of a physical breakdown. Here's another quote uh writ uh from the guide of Victorian etiquette. There is a certain charm in a woman's weakness, a slight paleness, a tendency to swoon, a soft voice. These are the marks of a true lady. They call forth the protective instincts of the stronger sex. This is not the picture that is painted in Proverbs 31. This is not the picture that is painted in Proverbs 31. In verse 10, look at verse 10, we're introduced to this Proverbs 31 woman, or what the ESV calls an excellent wife. Uh, the King James Version translates this as a virtuous woman. But if you look at the Hebrew phrase for this term, the Hebrew phrase is ashet Chail, which literally means woman of valor. Now, if uh if you look at the word valor in Hebrew is chhael, this is actually a military term that is used over 200 times in the Old Testament to describe uh uh mighty men of valor, military strength, military men. Valor in the Miriam-Webster dictionary means exceptional courage, bravery, or boldness in the face of great danger, particularly in military or heroic contexts. The Proverbs 31 woman is not a docile wallflower, she's not a doormat to be trampled on, she's not an accessory to her husband's mission. Rather, she's a woman of valor. She's a a um she's a warrior woman, if you will, a warrior woman for the kingdom. She's a picture of strength, of power, of force to be reckoned with. Ultimately, that strength and that power does not come from her own doing, but it comes from being rooted and anchored in the fear of the Lord. The Lord is where her strength comes from. She's actively engaged in the harsh realities of life and contributing to bring flourishing in the life of her family in her community. Look at verse 17. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. I almost get this picture of somebody who's just like lifting weights and just uh you know going to the gym every day. She's making herself strong. Um, this doesn't mean you have to go to the gym every day, it but inherent in the in her role is this uh the the uh this idea that she is strong and she practices strength, she requires strength to accomplish her duties. Verse 26. She Verse 25, strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. Does that sound like a weak, delicate wallflower uh who is fainting at the at the at the mere sight of or or idea of something difficult? No, she is a a woman of strength. Think of the strength it takes to carry a child for nine months and then give birth to that child. Some have I've not experienced this myself, thank God. But some have have uh described the the the pain or the strength of giving birth to a child as running a marathon with 20 broken bones. I don't know if that's true or not. Um okay. I someone said that's not true. Okay, I stand corrected. It's a it's it's it requires almost superhuman strength. So just in our in a woman's nature itself, there's this inherent strength that lies in there. So Abraham Lincoln said she speaking of his mother, she he said she was as of the spirit of those women who, when they see a burden, move toward it. When they see a burden, move toward it. I see that kind of strength in my own mother. I see that kind of strength in my own uh in my own wife, in the way that she mothers our children. How does that strength play out for the mothers in your life? Ultimately, that strength comes from the Lord, and it's strength for contribution to his kingdom. So she is a force of kingdom strength.

Trust Shared Decisions In Marriage

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All right, thirdly, she is a trusted decision maker. She is a trusted decision maker. That's a the picture that we see here. Verses eleven through twelve say the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. George McDonald once said, To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. The Proverbs 31 woman is a trusted decision maker. She was trusted to influence decisions about the family. She was trusted to manage the household. One verse says she looks well to the ways of her household. She was trusted with financial decisions and with entrepreneurial ventures. Verse 16 says she considers a field and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. 18, she perceives that her merchandise is profitable. 24, she makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. This describes uh almost an describes an entrepreneur, a businesswoman, if you will. So in ancient times, uh, women played a major role in the economy. Uh some people call this the cottage industry, where 70% of a family's income would come from from goods that were produced within the family structure. And women played a huge role in that. Um she played a major role in providing for her family financially. Her husband didn't only trust her, he actually he depended on her. He depended on her skills, he trusted her financial insight. He trusted her risk assessment, her investment ideas. Traditionally, we we've tended to view husband uh husbands as the decision maker and the wife as the one who submits to his decisions at the expense of her own discernment. And this is actually a twisted view of scripture. The picture here paints one of teamwork, of shared responsibility. She isn't completely dependent on her husband for every little decision that she makes. She has discernment, she has wisdom, and she's fully capable of carrying out these decisions with skill. There's an article by the Gottman Institute that writes about uh relationships, and it states the following: Healthy relationships aren't built on one partner leading and the other following. They thrive when partners are equals, each with valuable thoughts, feelings, and needs. Research has shown that relationships flourish when partners accept influence from one another, meaning that they are open to their partners' opinions and perspectives. In three ways, this plays out. So being open to your partner's ideas and opinions, acknowledging that your partner has a valid point of view, and sending the message that you mattered to me. You matter to me. And ultimately, this shared influence builds trust that can weather and hard times when they arise. So, as husbands, is it always your way or the highway? Do you accept your wife's discernment? Do you trust her discernment? Do you trust her to make decisions that need to be made in the family or in the community? Do you ever change your mind because of her discernment? This chapter paints a picture of harmony when there is trust between a husband and a wife. Her husband trusts in her. Alright,

Flourishing Through Work Teaching Generosity

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fourthly, she seeks the flourishing of her family and community. She seeks the flourishing of her family and community. So the bulk of this chapter describes the mundane sort of ins and outs of caring for a household, of managing a household, and helping out in the community. And this plays out in four different ways. The first way is that she she clothes her family. She clothes her family. Look at verse 13. She seeks wool and flask and works with willing hands. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands to hold the spindle. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. Verse 22, she makes bed coverings for herself, and her clothing is fine linen and purple. So in our modern world, most, if not the majority of you probably don't make your own clothing anymore. This is three year three thousand years ago, and it was a different, a totally different culture. But the the practical reality is the same, even if the application is a little bit different. It is a massive task to make sure that your children and your husband and yourself are clothed properly through spring, summer, uh, fall, winter, for varying events. Uh think of all the different items of clothing you need just for these different events. So Sunday morning church, uh, a swimming party, ice skating, hunting, camping, weddings, school days, and all of this with children that don't stay the same size every single day. This is constantly changing. It's a it's amazing. It's a heavy, heavy task. Simply keeping your children and your husband and yourself clothed. Secondly, she feeds her family. Verse 14 She is like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. Again, this is not a small feat. This is a major feat. Rising grocery prices, you think of uh growing appetites, at least in our in our home, picky eaters, food allergies, choking hazards, all this while trying to cook healthy enough, cheaply enough, tasty enough, and get a bite in yourself. If you cook an average of two two meals a day for your child from the age of zero to eighteen, you will cook little over thirteen thousand meals over the course of your child's life. And that doesn't include bedtime snacks, uh mid-morning snacks. Uh it's pretty major. Verse 27 says, She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. It's amazing. Thirdly, she teaches her children. She teaches her children. I lost the verse where that or I'm pulling that from, but um says she opens her mouth with wisdom and teaches, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. One of the greatest tasks that you as mothers have is to teach your children. Some of the greatest uh some of the greatest men and women of history have been have come out or have have been influenced by great mothers. The stories you read to your children, your little one-liners, uh, maybe the uh the uh the things you teach them, uh reading scripture to them, um and then paying attention to what they're learning in school, um, engaging with them over topics they're learning, um, you play a pretty major role in teaching your children. And this is a very, very big task. Not perfectly, not always how you intend, but faithfully, day in and day out, showing up, teaching your children. Fourthly, she cares for the needy around her. She cares for the needy around her. 26. 20, verse 20 says, She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. I see this play out in my own home, but also in the I think I see this in a lot of you women here at church. Uh, the ways that you practice generosity and hospitality to your neighbors, um, to the uh to the to the poor around you, the hurting, babysitting, uh cooking meals for a hurting family, um, the uh homeless shelter, just small acts and small examples of caring for the needy in your community. A virtuous woman seeks the flourishing of her family and community. So I want to bring this to a close.

Husbands Praise Her Publicly And Privately

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We've looked at four reasons to call her blessed. Number one, she fears the Lord. That's where all of this stems from. This is the anchor. She fears the Lord. Number two, she is a force of kingdom strength. She's not she's not a doormat. She's a force of kingdom strength. Number three, she's a trusted decision maker. Number four, she seeks the flourishing of her family and community. I want to close briefly with just a little bit of application. And the application is not for you wives and mothers this morning. The application is actually for us husbands. And that is the anchor verse that I read, number, or verse 28. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. So, application for us men this morning is let's practice private and public praising of our wives. Let's practice public and private praising of our wives. And secondly, let's teach our children how to do the same. I want my children to see and hear me praise their mother to other people and to herself. And we're gonna practice that this morning.

Open Mic Bless Your Mother

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I'm gonna open it up here uh to you all to put this into practice at this moment. Uh Myra, if you don't have the mic ready, I'm gonna open it up.